Review

READ THE INSTRUCTION PAMPHLET BEFORE USING THIS TOY!

Why the bold warning? Because I received several unintentional and quite jolting shocks just putting the battery in! Be wise - read instructions before using.

I had the most unusual experience with these Shock Therapy Nipple Clamps - and I can thank their electro-shock properties for the good times! After I received a sample package, I needed to review them but nipple clamps alone are a bit much for me and if you add some electric charges to the experience, I am not going there. So I needed a willing partner to try them. I found him in the least likely TLA staffer - a well-toned, straight, bronzed student from Temple University. He is interning for our company's other endeavors - film festivals - but would always stop by my office to ask about the different toys.

Showing him the package, he showed immediate interest. I pounced on this by opening the box right there and began to assemble it. With little prodding he said that he'd love to try it out. And then he took over - he inserted the battery, attached the control box to the wired nipple clamps and played with it in his hands - adjusting the speed and intensity - laughing and jumping when a charge was especially intense. Then he did it - abruptly lifted his t-shirt, put it behind his neck and proceeded to attach the clamps to his dark nipples. I grabbed the power unit and began playing with the controls - he'd groan or yell at different times and twice pulled the clamps off his now swollen nipples when it became too much to take. After a few minutes, I had my fill of his chiseled chest and tortured nipples and we concluded our "experiment." His only complaint was that the clamps felt cheap and were not tight enough. Listen Pipedream, fix this complaint - I want my intern happy and occasionally shirtless.

If simple nipple clamps have lost their fun and you are looking for something more intense, you can’t go wrong with these electro-charged clamps - but remember - it is electricity you are playing with so be careful. And if you have a heart problem, epilepsy, or, averse to getting shocked, don't buy this! And please - remove all metal piercing from your nipples before attaching or you might fry them and any nearby chest hair to bits.

 -- Randy Siempre