Review

WARNING: Sex Toy-loving environmentalists will shed a tear or two after seeing how much useless plastic packaging has gone into the Hardware line of sex toys. The 12” high cylinder case and the hard plastic inner packaging are overkill when all it contains is a vibrating cockring, but I'm here to review the toy (my concern for useless landfill clutter is just a bonus).

There is a new sex toy kid in town and it's name is Hardware – a line of sex toys modeled after tools – or what they promote as “skillfully crafted tools and gear for those with garage sex and blue collar fantasies.” OK, they have an original angle and marketing campaign but are these toys any good? Well, with my backpack filled with several of them, I headed home for a night of sex toy fun. The first toy is this Rapid Mounting Hexagonal Nut or as my dad would say, a vibrating cock ring. Upon initial inspection, I was concerned. Unlike most stretchable cock rings this one already comes pretty big – with a 10” inner circumference. Before putting it on, I thought it was going to be too big and loose for my junk – I mean the whole point of a cock ring is to squeeze you, to tighten and impress and pressure the blood to the cock.

And sadly, it was too big. I put it around my cock and balls really easily and it stayed there (with the vibrating bullet below my balls) but it did not squeeze, tighten and stimulate. It was like a ring that was too big for a finger. And I don’t consider myself small, but this bolt was not the right size for my nuts.

Verdict: Useless for me and I suspect for most guys – but for dudes carrying a huge package, it could do the trick. PS: the vibrating bullet was exceptionally intense – more than most.

 -- Jack Frequenton